Big Thoughts

I have a couple of rather large thoughts floating around in my head so bear with me.

I was having a conversation with a coworker this morning about the local city market. This is one of my favorite things about living in C'ville and it is about to start up again. It runs from April thru October every Saturday morning from 7-12. I love to go there and smell the fresh produce, flowers, homemade soaps and organic coffee. I was mentioning it to him because we were discussing the pros and cons of buying organic and I said I was happy that the market would be starting up again so that I could buy some stuff there. He then made a comment that struck me as very racist but it wasn't along the black/white lines. He said something like "yeah I like that place but I think that the mexicans are just buying stuff from other places and then selling it there like they grew them." Now, here's the thing. I have never seen a "mexican" there selling something. And then the other big question, how does he know that they are "mexicans"? For some reason, that word affects just like if someone said the n-word. I'm not quite sure why. There is no reason for it to offend me other than the fact that I am a human in this world. But that racial slur just really cuts through me. The other thing that bothered me about that situation is that I was unable to summon the courage to say "Hey shithead, let's try to keep the racial slurs to a minimum."

I was reading Mandy's blog today and she had a link to someone else's blog that was talking about his life and his relationship with his wife. He was pretty longwinded so I had started to skim when I noticed his revelation that it has been over six weeks since he and his wife were sexually intimate. That just blows my mind. What's the point if it has gotten this far? Why would either of them desire to stay in a relationship with the other person if that part is missing? I know that the physical side is not everything to a relationship but geez. He also talks about her refusal to move from where they currently live because her support network is there. I can't ever imagine being so attached to people other than my husband/life partner/children that I would be willing to say to them "Listen, I know that moving would make our lives better but I can't be away from these people. So we have to stay here."

We are trying to make a decision about moving. Not to a different town but to a different house. There are a lot of factors and it is making the decision difficult. We had gotten to the point where we had decided that we are moving and so we had gotten pretty far down the path of looking for a new place. But yesterday evening, as we were driving to yet another house to look at, we suddenly started discussing the cons of moving. And they are quite large. In fact there are two glaring ones. Money and stability. On the money side, we would be spending about $500 more per month. On the stability side, it's not so much about the grownups' level of stability but the 12 and under crowd. Only one has expressed the desire to move to a different location and the other three have expressed the desire to NOT move. So then I started to think about why I have a such a strong desire to be in a different house. And it comes down to the fact that I am not happy with the condition of our current house and that is all stuff that I can change. So I think that we have made the decision to stay put and make some changes in the house. Some major spring cleaning needs to happen, especially on the toy side. So since the crew is not going to be home for two weeks because of spring break, I am going to take this time to really work on things. I may even borrow the carpet cleaner from my mom and clean the carpets! Party time!

I am in a photo shoot this afternoon for my company that involves hawaiian shirts, a conga line and a rather large sombrero. It should be a good time.